Issa Rae, Insecure, 2016
Can I admit that life scares me? Not always, but definitely from time to time. One moment I'm confident and rolling with the punches taking things as they come and the next thing I know I am panicking, having slight anxiety and worried about what will, or won't, happen next. As one can imagine, this gets frustrating! I in no way live my life in fear, but uncertainty drives me crazy sometimes. I want to know everything right now. I want to know where my career will end up, if I will reach my goals, if I'll ever get married, what my kids will look like, or if I will even get to see these things happen in my life at all. I know, it's a lot to take on all at once. Whew!
One of the ways I have dealt with this fear of the unknown is to focus on the now. My mind wanders constantly. All day, every day. I am always thinking about what's next, what the next day will bring, if something will or will not happen and thinking 20 steps ahead just in case something does not happen in the way that I hope. While it is always good to plan ahead and to be prepared, I have learned the hard way that planning too much and too far ahead will only bring stress and anxiety. It is nearly impossible to plan out every little detail of life because, life happens. Life happens in many unexpected ways. You may not get that job. You may not meet that person. You could win the lottery (oh please, God....please). We do not know what our tomorrow holds. We do, however, know what is going on present day, especially in the moment. So, if you get anxious about the future the way I do, remember to take life one day at a time.
Another way I cope with fear and anxiety is speaking words of affirmation over myself. This has actually gotten me through a whole lot! We constantly look for kind words and validation from other people. I mean, compliments are hella nice, don't get me wrong! They're even more nice when they are coming from yourself. Self confidence makes one feel like they can do and make it through anything! I know for me, when I am super confident, I feel like I can take on whatever life throws at me and I am motivated to do my absolute best. Of course it takes hard work to stay confident through every struggles. So when I need a pick me up I speak these words of affirmation over myself:
"Girl you are fine!!"
"I am resilient!"
"I am smart!"
"I am more than enough!"
"You are killin it!"
Last but certainly not least, when I get nervous about life, I PRAY. HARD. I know this goes without saying, but, let me tell you...it works. Now, this does not mean I always get the outcome I was hoping for, but it does mean that whatever the outcome ends up being I find peace and I am satisfied knowing that something better is on it's way. It is very hard to remember that in the moment, but it's true. Nothing that is taking place in my life currently is what I imagined years ago...it's actually better. And if I pay close attention, I realize often that I am exactly where I am meant to be, even if sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough or I have not accomplished enough in my 26.5 years of life. And it is okay to share this out loud. I like to talk to God while I am driving in my car. I know people in other cars beside me probably think I am crazy, but those conversations give me so much peace of mind. Just letting it out feels so good! I express my fears, my needs, my opinions. I just lay it all down...right in 5 o'clock traffic. And I always feel better afterwards. It restores my faith and reminds me that I am in great hands! Won't He do it!
No one knows what their tomorrow looks like. The only thing we can do is our best, every day as it comes. Spending too much time worrying, fearful and stressed out takes away from the moments happening all around us! While it is okay to plan, it is not healthy to get so wrapped up in things that are out of our control. When you feel yourself getting anxious and wrapped up, say the Serenity Prayer to yourself: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things that I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Keep pushing. You got this!
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